Don’t Take Anything Personally

Recently I read the book “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)” by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book was definitely one of my favorite books that I read this year. All of the agreements resonated with me but the third agreement hit me in a special way. The 3rd Agreement: Don’t take anything personally. 

A lot of us are so effected by what other people say. We internalize what others say of us. We internalize it whether good or bad.

As a child, I heard many things. Things like..

You’re fat..

You have a lot pimples on your face..

Why are you such a cry baby?

You smell..

I internalize it all and it effected how I felt about myself. That intern effected how I carried myself, my actions.

Then I grew to depend on words like..

You’re beautiful

You look nice today

I like your dress

To make me feel better...However…after reading this book, I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what people say. You shape how you feel about you. You set the agreements concerning you, not others. I’ve learned that people are made up of their own hurt, their own pain, their own experiences, biases, and everything else. That has nothing to do with me. I’m learning to let words and comments ricochet…even the good ones. It’s nice that you think I’m beautiful. However, I’m not beautiful because you said it. I was beautiful before you said it. The difference is, now I don’t need someone to say it for me to believe it. I am because I am.

That doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate a positive comment. Those words do carry energy. However, I don’t take it personally. I don’t internalize them.

Here’s more of my thoughts on this topic.